Monday, November 29, 2010

Holiday…Celebrate.

That was a nice long weekend, wasn’t it?  I spent the weekend at my parent’s cooking, eating, working out, reading, laughing, yelling, eating some more, yelling some more, cooking some more, and enjoying their company.  For the big Turkey Day I made Butternut Squash Soup served with warm Caramelized Onion Cheesy Beer Bread:

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I also made Carrot Cupcakes with Coconut Frosting, but I accidently deleted the pictures (major bummer because they were delicious). 

Dinner was delicious and tasted even better on Friday night.  Saturday morning I had a private yoga class (taught by sister’s bf).  It was much harder than I thought it would be and my arms are seriously sore today.  Yesterday was for going through bins and bins of crap from college that I’ve been storing in my parent’s basement.  I sorted through several years’ worth of letters sent to me at camp, including a few from a very very old ex-boyfriend who went to camp nearby.  I also tumbled upon my journal from 2001-2002.  That was quite the compelling read.  I wish someone had told me not to sweat the small stuff back then.  I noticed some reoccurring themes.  Apparently I still pine away hoping the bad boy will see what’s right in front of him instead of going for the sweet guy.  I wrote a lot about my insecurities during the summer of 2001 while I was traveling through Europe with my best friend from camp.  She’s gorgeous and outgoing and hilariously funny and I always felt somewhat invisible during that trip. 

It made me so sad that it took me almost ten years to realized that my own thoughts were standing in the way of my happiness.  It was no one else’s fault.  I wrote about saying goodbye to our travel group at JFK on the last day of the trip.  This boy who I had the biggest crush on the entire trip (but I never did anything about, of course, because I was so painfully shy and insecure) picked up me and gave me the hugest hug and kiss and thanked me for “making his summer.”  I walked out of the airport and thought to myself “what?”  It may seem small and inconsequential, but it made me look at that trip in a completely different light.  I don’t need to be the prettiest, funniest, or loudest person in a group.  I just need to be me.  I am enough. 

Unfortunately, it took many more heart breaks, awkward conversations, and rejections for my “ah ha moment” to stick.  Looking through scrapbooks and reading my old year books was like learning about someone I’d never met.  So much has changed…and for the better.  I was lucky enough to run into some old friends on Wednesday night, some of which even read this blog (hi FC!).  I was shocked to hear that people who witnessed me go through middle school and high school were also “watching” me navigate this whole adulthood thing. 

The weekend was wonderfully exhausting and ended with me like this:

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Actually that’s my Dad peacefully napping in his new favorite chair.  I assumed the exact same position yesterday at 3pm.  Having a house full of relatives for five days is utterly exhausting.  I hope everyone had a fabulous Turkey Day.  I’m so thankful that I have this platform to write and share my life with all of you.  You’ve become my extended family and I couldn’t be more grateful. 

1 comment:

Ashley said...

Jason is a yoga instructor???