Let’s play a game. A very talented director, perhaps Sophia Coppola, would like to make a movie about your fabulous life. Ms. Coppola being the artiste that she is, wants your input. Who would you chose to play you?
It’s the new age-old question. What famous person best personifies you? Not only in looks, but in gesture and gait. I’ve had a lot of fun asking basically everyone I know who would be the star of their movie. I’ve changed my mind several times over the past 48 hours. At first, I demanded that Natalie Portman play me. I just love her. She’s so well-spoken, always impeccably put together, Harvard educated, and supremely talented. We all can dream, can’t we? I asked my sister who should play me and her pick was Jennifer Aniston. Um, I’ll take that sister. She’s the epitome of a cool chick. I then asked my mother. She chose Juliana Margulies. Actually she said, “the one from the good wife.” Mom’s need help with these things, you see. Celebrity names are hard to remember. I asked why Juliana. Her exact response was, “she is strong and sensitive and looks Mediterranean.” Instead of taking the obvious compliment I pressed on. “Mom your supposed to say because she’s so beautiful.” My mother’s response was great. “Clearly I was spot on about being sensitive.” ZING.
I highly recommend asking the people closest to you to play along in this game. One of my guy friends said Kate Winslet should play me…or his aunt (don’t even ask). In my movie he’d be played by Ryan Gosling. Wearing really tight jeans. I digress. My sister would like to be played by Reese Witherspoon, but I think she’s a little too sweet for my baby sister. I see Jackie as more of a Kristen Bell type. Very small and blonde with a huge potty mouth. My mother would like to be played by Barbara, obviously. My Dad prefers Dustin Hoffman, which was a surprising choice considering my Grandmother swears he resembles Tom Selleck. Grandma will be played by Betty White, searing wit and all. Nanny is one class act so I’m thinking Judi Dench would be most fitting. My bestie JV requested Sandra Bullock after much thought and I find that oh-so-fitting. She’s America’s Best Friend. My roommate would be played by Katherine Heigel and bestie D would be portrayed by Jamie-Lynn Sigler. Minka Kelly would star as Ash and Courtney Cox would have the honor of playing Jamie.
My main man would be played by Jake Gyllenhaal. Shocker. He’s the perfect amount of sweet and sexy. He’ll have a beard throughout the entire movie. He will also strum a guitar in most scenes. Since Juliana is a bit too old for Jakey G, I’ll be played by Mila Kunis. She has a little more edge to her and let’s be real, I’m a schlub compared to the mighty Ms. Portman. I know you all will be sleeping better after reading this.
Now that I have (most of) the main character lined up, I only need the plot. This is where the real fun begins…
…to be continued