Tuesday, March 29, 2011

More Obvious, But Entertaining Advice.

Today’s EHarmony email provided a bit of entertainment in the midst of my proposal (business, not marriage) madness.  For clarification purposes the italics is my opinion. 

Ten Things Women Never Want to Hear on a First Date

1. "I’ve actually never been in a serious or long-term relationship.”

I have mixed feelings about this one.  What if he hasn’t met the right person?  What if he was in love with someone he couldn’t have for years?  I wouldn’t hold that against someone at my age.  Ask me again at 30. 

2.  “I hate labels like ‘girlfriend.’”

See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya. 

3.  “My ex is actually home watching my kids right now.”

Unless his ex is his ex-wife and by “kids” he means one kid and by “watching them” he means that it’s her night with the one kid because he would never use his night with his one kid to go out on a date.  If not, see above.

4.  “I’d love to see you in a dress next time.”

I’d love to get the check.

5.  “Can you believe she put out a restraining order on me?”

I have to use the restroom and by use the restroom I mean I’m running out without saying goodbye because I’m terrified. 

6.  “My friend John is such a jerk. He really pissed me off last night...”

Unless John is someone I know as well, this is a bit weird.  If that’s the worst of it I can deal. 

7.  “Let’s hang out again tomorrow.”

I respectfully disagree with EHarmony on this one, if the date is fantastic why “play it cool?”  Playing games gets me nowhere and I’m sorry but did you actually use the term “stage five clinger” in reference to the above statement, EHarmony? 

8.  “Actually, I still live with my ex.”

Oh there seems to be some confusion, I want to date someone who is available. 

9.  “I’d like you to meet my good friend Mike.”

Hi Mike, I’d like you to meet my good friend…oh wait this is a date so I didn’t awkwardly invite any of my friends to join.  Next time, woops I mean I wouldn’t ever do that. 

10.  “I don’t really have any hobbies.”

Hobbies can be hard to define, no?  For example, working 100 hour weeks can be considered a hobby.  Or maybe you love awkward silences?

No comments: