I’m a work in progress as are most of you, I’m sure. There are weeks, months even, where I feel fantastic. I love every outfit I put on. I strut down Park Avenue wind blowing through my (styled with care) hair. In moments like those you can feel the eyes on you. Men turn to look as I pass by. I’m not talking about stopping traffic like Giselle (as nice as that would be) I just mean the subtle glances that so many New York City women enjoy on a daily basis. As insignificant as those glances should be, they have become somewhat of a marker.
From all that I’ve learned about the power of positive thinking, I know that the reaction I get from people is directly related to the energy I put out there. If I’m walking down the street feeling fat and miserable, surely no one will be looking my way. I find myself feeling unattractive when I’m around certain people. It’s as though I’ve given my power away to these people who have no interest in being in charge of my self-esteem. I’ve convinced myself that certain people would never find me attractive, therefore I’m fat and gross, thus beginning the steep drop on the rollercoaster ride.
Once at the bottom the real work begins. Taking baby steps to feel good again. Journaling, meditating, working out, all that good stuff. The ironic part is that if I did all the above daily (or almost daily), I would probably have more slow uphill climbs than so-fast-and-steep-you-feel-sick drops on this ride. The hard part is stopping myself once I feel the pace picking up. I’ve got to slow down. I have to remember that you can’t make someone be attracted to you or love you and even the most gorgeous women in the world have the same problems as (not so) little old me.
Time to change my energy and start strutting once again!