Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Swagger, I Have Not

Since this week has been a little funky for me I was so happy to catch up with my friend, Bevin, last night.  We always give it to each straight.  It’s a strictly no bullshit zone and I love that about us.  Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you’re badass and to snap out of it. 

Something I struggle with a lot is comparing.  It’s a Friday night and I’m out with girlfriends and suddenly these thoughts start appearing, “no guys in here are looking at me…it’s because I’m fat…they’re all looking at (insert bestie name here)…ugh why did I wear this…might as well head home soon…end scene.”

It’s exhausting being in my head, right?  Such a waste of time and energy to think like that.  I’m me.  I talk about my self-esteem issues with a lot of people in my life, more recently its been my roommate (she’s my live-in therapist after all) and the more I share the more I realize that plenty of women don’t have those thoughts while enjoying an evening out.  This realization was actually encouraging.  There is life after a self-defeating attitude.  There is no possible way I’m giving off a positive, come talk to me vibe, with those thoughts racing around.  It defies all logic. 

During days like these I imagine myself as a tall, gorgeous, confident woman.  Why would that me do?  She would probably catch a glimpse of herself in a store window and think, “wow I’m stunning.”  So that’s what I’m going to do for the rest of this day.  I’m gonna act like I’ve got some serious swagger.  This will include calling upon the Carrie Bradshaw Gods to rock my curly hair (usually the bane of my existence) and drag my fabulous ass all over this city.  Wish me luck. 

“…I love her because she moves in her own way…”

-The Kooks.  This band is my secret afternoon weapon. 

1 comment:

Jamie said...

i really like this post!