So all my posts this week have been food/workout related. It’s like 2007 all over again in these parts. It’s great that I’ve found the motivation (helloooo NOLA, Jamie’s Wedding) but I’m starting to bore myself a bit. If I’m bored then I can only imagine how bored you guys are. Since the temperature (and humidity) is rising, I figure its the perfect time to look back at some of my favorite Ask A Dude posts.
Let’s get hot and bothered, shall we?
This week’s Ask A Dude deals with the proverbial question: Are you my soul mate? Read on to find out Rusty’s take on soul mates.
1. What is the first thing that attracts you to a girl?
Honestly? Boobs!!! Then I look up at her face and then I do the up and down body look! I am not alone in this - all guys have a similar creepy stare down! Really, they do!!!
Once we have all of that out of the way, I'll start talking to her and see what the personality is all about!
When hooking up with a girl, it is 95% looks and 5% personality.
When dating a girl, it is 45% looks, 55% personality.
The problem (don't really know if this is a problem) is that a lot of relationships start from hooking up!
2. What are your thoughts on soulmates ? Do you believe there is one perfect person out there for you?
No, soulmates definitely do not exist. Do you really think there is a girl out there that refuses to ever miss an Islanders game, likes my cigar smoking, thinks its great that I have no interest in her family or hobbies and just lives to cook for me and give me oral sex? NO!!!
Half the battle is finding someone that can simply tolerate me!
Soul mates only exist in fairy tales, but I do think there is someone out there that together, we will be better, happier, more complete people!
What do you guys think?
Here’s the latest installment of our Ask A Dude series. I think the title says it all.
1. Have you ever thought "I'd date that girl if she lost weight?". Have you ever said anything along those lines to a woman? Have you ever dated a woman who wasn't your type physically?
I don't know if I have ever consciously thought "I'd date that girl if she lost weight.", but there are certainly girls who I think are not attractive now, but could be attractive if they lost weight. Sometimes it is difficult to picture a person different than they currently look.
I have absolutely never told a girl that she should lose weight! I am not suicidal!! After all, if I think she needs to lose weight, I am sure she already knows she has a weight problem.
To answer the third part of your question; No, I have never dated a girl that wasn't my type physically. This is not something that I am proud of. Frankly, I am slightly ashamed of this. Why, you ask? Well...My name is "Rusty" (not as powerful when you use an alias) and I DO care what other people think!!! Our entire lives, we are taught by our teachers, parents, etc. NOT to care what other people think, but society tells us the complete opposite. As pathetic as this may be, when bringing a girl out with me, it is almost as important for my friends to find her attractive as it is for me to find her attractive. This could certainly be my own insecurities speaking, but I truly think most guys feel this way.
A quick story... Up until a few months ago, I had been casually sleeping with someone for over three years. We always had a great time together, I liked her a lot as a person, but she was a little overweight. I didn't find her to be beautiful and I knew my friends would feel the same way. In the three years that we were "together", she never met my friends. My friends knew she existed, but nobody ever met her. I was ashamed of her. She was such a good person with such a great heart, but because she was a little overweight, I never wanted her to be my girlfriend.
I hope this answers your questions...and I really hope that the girl I was talking about does not read this blog!!!
After much thought I’m going to post Dude #2’s answers. If you do not wish to read about weight and dating please stop here. Happy Friday!!
1. Have you ever thought "I'd date that girl if she lost weight?".
Have I ever thought to myself, "I'd date that girl if she lost weight."...In a word, yes. Truth be told, you show me a guy who hasn’t thought that to himself or mentioned it to his friends, then I’ll show you proof that same guy’s dated the same girl since they met freshman year of college. No guy who has dated with any regularity in New York City could honestly say that thought hasn’t crossed their mind at one time or another. Acting on such a thought, however, is an entirely different matter.
2. Have you ever said anything along those lines to a woman?
That I’ve never done, nor do I think I would ever do…at least until I’m married and my wife & I both grow fat together.
On a related note, I have a close friend from high school with whom I’ve stayed close with over the years. Back in high school, this girl was a star…popular, chased after by the boys, she had (has!) a magnetic smile, had an adorable body, etc. I was no different. My crush was always there on her, although I never acted upon it, in part because all the older boys loved her. Four years of awful eating habits and heavy beer drinking hours later, she had grown much, MUCH bigger. While it didn’t impact her day to day friends, she definitely stopped dating, and to this day, has a hard time meeting guys. When she asks me to set her up with a friend, I don’t know who to set her up with. What are her standards? Expectations? Would a friend I set her up with want to kill me afterwards for sending him on a date with a “fat girl”?? I don’t know. The end result has been I’ve never set her up. She even made a pass at me some time ago, and I told her we were too close as friends to do something like that, although truth be told, had she looked then like she looked in high school, I would have worked around the "close friends" label. A few of us boys have considered talking to her about her weight, but in the end decided that discussion wasn’t for us to have with her, whether we were close friends or not. We’re her friends, not her conscience.
3. Have you ever dated a woman who wasn't your type physically?
I’ve dated women of all shapes and sizes, be they taller, shorter, all skin and bones and/or quite curvaceous. While I’m most attracted to the shorter, more slender builds, I wouldn’t pigeon-hole myself into dating only one body type. That being said, I’m much less inclined to ask a girl out on my own who doesn’t fit the shorter, slender look. I’m set up often, though, and won’t automatically dismiss a girl I’m set up with simply because she may not fit the physical mold of what I normally look for in a woman.
More favorite to come…Happy Weekend!