Thursday, August 11, 2011

Ask A Dude: The Dating Game

This week, Third Dude, gives some dating advice.  Check it out, it’s excellent:

Hey there lonely girl,

Is batting your eyes not getting you anywhere? Do your Saturday nights end up in front of the TV? Are you thinking about preempting the inevitable and buying a couple of cats and a one-fits-all moo-moo? Well self-loathing no-date-for-the-prom girl, here are a few tips designed to make your next date successful.

First, and most obvious, try to touch the guys arm a little. You probably knew this already but the key to this move is that less is more. The two handed touch is cheeky and obvious. Also, the sustained arm touch is a little awkward. A little touch on the arm while you laugh at the guy’s story is a classic; it works every time there is already some surface sexual tension.

Second, really think about the outfit you wear. There are competing interests in a girl’s choice of clothing on a date. First, you want to look good (i.e. sexy, comfortable, appropriate, etc.). Second, and equally important, you want to make the guy feel comfortable. So, it’s all well and good to wear the low cut shirt that shows off the girls, but realize that you are dealing with a guy here. Even if he is the sweetest, most progressive, pro-feminist thought guy you have ever met, he may be distracted by the twosome. Distractions lead to less than stellar conversations which in turn lead to no second dates. So, go ahead and show off the ladies enough to make him notice, but don’t go overboard. A little mystery is good.

Third, as Seinfeld once said, a date is essentially a job interview which, if all goes well, ends up in bed. Point being: make sure to seem interested and sincere. How? Use eye contact and facial expression. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. Look at the guy in the eyes. Obviously, don’t be a creep and stare him down. Read the social cues and, if he seems weirded out by it, stop. But, most people like attention. Connecting through the eyes can be the key. Moreover, when you are telling him a funny story, look around, laugh at yourself a little, and be ‘big.’ Convey the story with more than your words. Try to be animated. Nothing is a cute as a girl who gets into her story.

Fourth, get your Angelina Jolie on. Your lips might be thin or nearly non-existent but show off what you have by biting your lower-lip once or twice on the date. Lips are the most sensual part of the human face and ooze sexuality. A little bite as he is telling you a story or, better yet, at the end of the night, will certainly get his attention.

Fifth, easy with the perfume! There is no need to douse your whole body with Chanel #5. If you are cute and he likes what he sees, you will not need it. If he doesn’t, no perfume will do it for you. So, keep it light.

What do you guys think?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! How come you've never dated any of the Ask A Dude guys? They seem perfect for you!