Monday, December 12, 2011

Why?

"We get upset over minute things and then get upset over the fact that we’re upset. We get sad that the amazing person we went on a date with last week hasn’t asked us to go on another one, and then we get angry at ourselves for giving the person so much power. We choose the things that control us. We give our phone a lot of power. We get bummed out about text messages and phone calls and, oh my god, it shows that they read my text but haven’t responded back! We give the internet a lot of power. When someone doesn’t follow us back on Twitter or write on our Facebook wall, we fall into a spiral of grief. Why?"


-Ryan O'Connell on Thought Catalog today 


Today I will make it a point not to sweat the small stuff.  Take four hours to respond to my text, jerk.  See if I care! Well, that's not exactly the point the amazing Ryan O'Connell is making.  He's saying it's all up to me (and you, of course).  We can choose to be happy or choose to be sad.  Even when I know I'm being silly or petty or delusional, sometimes the sadness or anger take over and I act like a lunatic.  The worst part is, I know better.  I know that my happiness does not depend on the actions of someone else.  I know that giving someone the responsibility of making me happy is giving them a power over me that no one wants to possess.  It's just too much responsibility.  


It's as though I'm testing people.  Oh if so and so does this then they must really care about me.  Or if they don't do x,y, or z that's it, I'm done!  I mean, come on.  If someone cares about you, they will make it clear.  If you have to question it, or ask where this is going, the answer is probably not what you're hoping for.  That is the worst part.  Admitting when you're not happy and having the courage to move on.  


The weirdest part about writing this post is that I did not see it going this way.  I guess, that's when you know you have something you've been wanting to say.  It just sort of...comes out.  


In happier news, look at this awful picture my sister snapped during my birthday celebration on Saturday night.  Hello, puffy hungover face!!!



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