In the past four years, I've worked really, really, really hard to change my attitude. I wanted to be happier, so I decided to be happier. It was that simple at first. I worked on being more confident, silencing my ego's negative thoughts and started this blog. I would say overall, I'm a very emotional person. I cry at the drop of a hat, not in a crazy way, I'm just very sensitive. This sensitivity has been both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, I'm able to connect with people quickly. I always find myself sitting across the table from someone (dates included) and twenty minutes into our meal they're telling me their deepest, darkest secrets. I have never figured out how this happens, but more than one male dining companion has uttered the following phrase, "I can't believe I'm telling you all of this..."
However, this means that I share my feelings freely and often. Considering I'm typing this a completely single 28 year-old, perhaps I share them a bit too freely. Unrequited love is the worst. It just is. There's a real finality when someone simply does not feel the same way. No dramatic cheating escapades or blowout fights, just two people who feel differently. I have some tried and true methods for healing a beaten up, but not quite broken heart:
1. Live music. It always makes me feel one hundred times better to dance and sing at the top of my lungs. I attended the Bayside Tigers (an amazing 90's cover band) at the Canal Room on Friday night and it was insane. I mean, Gin Blossoms? Yes, please.
2. Spend a lot of time with my best girlfriends and my sister, who is also one of my best girlfriends. Like, laying on their couches instead of mine.
3. Working my mantras. Fighting off those nagging negative thoughts. This shit is hard work, people. It can be exhausting, but it's well worth it. No one deserves to be thought about that often, am I right?
4. Taking care of myself. Insanely good care of myself. Right now this means tracking my food, but still enjoying all the red wine I damn well please and starting the couch to 5k program.
5. Writing. I always debate whether or not to hit Publish after I write something intensely personal on the blog. I have never regretted a post. Well, actually, there was one that caused a bit of an upheaval in my life, actually resulting in this post perhaps.
6. Listening to Adele. I'm joking. Do not misunderstand me, it's like Adele snuck into my brain and sang my thoughts, but when I'm feeling vulnerable I just can't. Too many tears. Like the SNL skit. If you haven't seen it, check it out on YouTube. Even Coldplay cries listening to Adele. It's epic.
On a much, much, much happier note, I made it through another weekend and tracked everything! I even declined a tequila shot, and if you know me, you know this is huge. I had workout plans Saturday morning and I had for the foresight to know how that would have gone had I woken up with a hangover. Baby steps, it's all baby steps.
According to one of my best of the best, I will be back feeling like myself in no time. A healthier, happier, fitter, even better version of myself. And I can't wait.