Thursday, January 19, 2012

Confessions of a Sneaky Eater...

One of my best girlfriends and I were discussing my joining WW over dinner the other night and I got to thinking about how I got to this weight in the first place.  I had one "skinny" year in our almost a decade old friendship.  Mind you "skinny" for me was still more than she probably weighs and she stands a tall 5"4'.  I was lamenting over being at my "heavy" weight again and she asked if I was heavier now than the first time I joined.  She was just innocently inquiring because she never remembered my being particularly heavy in college.  Oh, I just love her for that.  But, truth be told, I was about four pounds lighter in the Spring of 2005 when I joined.  I threw out my old WW booklets a couple of years ago because they made me depressed.  I digress.
I started writing this post because I was reading Stephanie Klein's WW posts looking for some inspiration.  I happened to stumble upon this gem:

I ate an entire box of truffles (That would be sixteen balls in two sittings). In my car. Equal parts animal and daytime television for women. Worse, the next day I hit up the Halloween candy and hid the wrappers, pushing them under a carton of eggs in our garbage. Move over Skinny Bitch; make room for Sneaky Psycho. I had to do something.

I bet you can see where I'm going with this.  I too have buried wrappers under other packages in the garbage.  I've done this in my own apartment (for absolutely no reason), at my parents, at a boys apartment, when I lived with my sorority, while visiting a friend's apartment, basically anywhere I've been.  Ugh, I hate talking about this stuff.  I find it whiny and depressing.  Yet, I feel like it's part of my journey.  I have to share it.  I have to get rid of it.  So, now I log what goes into my big mouth on my iPhone like a lady.  If you have the pleasure of dining with me in the next several months I'm sure you'll be a witness.  I don't know what made me decide to take WW seriously this time.  It might have had something to do with a picture I saw of myself in Cabo.  It's a definite possibility.  It may be the fact that I basically live in leggings and the two pairs of jeans that fit me.  Or it could be the dread I felt every single morning in Cabo.  Great, it's bathing suit time again.  
Thus concludes today's confession.  Oh and since this post is all about "change,"  I think you'll enjoy the song of the day.  


Anonymous said...

Shanna- I have been on and off ww for 4 years. I too had one "skinny" year, and found myself totally overwhelmed when I ended up even heavier than my first time around! But, just like you are going to do, I started tracking EVERY BITE- and have lost 18 pounds- 12 more to go! Just wanted to say that I know its really hard to start tracking and being hardcore at weightwatchers again- but you will do it, and will have so much success! Good luck and keep posting!

Anonymous said...

good job shanna! you are back to writing about the topics that so many people started reading this blog in the first place. it is about your journey and glad you're being authentic to yourself. keep holding yourself accountable and you're going to find amazing success. we will enjoy following your increasing happiness!

Calamity said...

Yes, Shanna, it's all about holding ourselves accountable for our actions, food and otherwise. I don't know you, but I admire your honesty and ability to show the not-so-pretty truth. You're not alone in this.