Monday, January 23, 2012

The Grind...

Happy misty, gray Monday blog friends!  I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend.  I was super low-key this weekend, which was great for a girl just getting into the WW grind.  I am happy to report that I have tracked everything that has gone into my mouth!  In fact, right now I'm enjoying a late lunch of carrot ginger soup and coffee.  I have my weigh-in tomorrow so cross your fingers that some padding has fallen off my tush, if you know what I mean.

Over the weekend I started thinking about what's happened in 2012 so far.  I began this year in a far better place than 2011.  I remind myself of that every morning when I hit snooze for the fifth time.  Oh yes, I'm a compulsive snoozer, which leads to compulsive rushing, resulting in compulsive sweating.  It's a vicious cycle.  But, I digress.  I feel like I am taking real control over my life.  I was joking with one of my best girlfriends last night about starting Project True Love 2012 and coupling it with Project Skinny 2012.  That may sound like Project Overwhelmed 2012, but I'm hoping it's more like Project Healthy and In Love 2012.  A girl can dream, right?

One of my greatest regrets in 2011 was letting loneliness take the drivers seat.  I made decisions and accepted invitations in an attempt to ward off the underlying loneliness I was experiencing.  The most important decision I made so far this year was to stop "taking what I can get" and setting my standards higher.  Every relationship, platonic or romantic, is an opportunity to do better; be better.  In the past month, I have felt more like myself than I have in a couple of years.  I don't believe in coincidences, so this was no accident.  It was a decision I made to be happier.  And it's not easy.  Some days I feel awful.  I feel like maybe it would be better to accept the half-assed relationships than to surround myself with fewer people.  Other days, I feel like an effing rock star and show up wearing red and, gasp, leopard together!  This post has gotten ranty and a bit weird, but what I'm trying to say is that I hate New Years Resolutions, so I decided to make a few "projects" for myself this year.

I think my point is that saying NO to things that don't serve my overall goals is hard.  Really, really hard.  I'm an instant gratification gal and patience is a virtue I don't possess, therefore trusting that what I want is on it's way has been a challenge.  A challenge I've chosen to welcome in 2012.  As some of my favorite "gurus" have said, If not now, when?

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