Monday, March 5, 2012

Like A Drug

Yesterday morning I had a monthly date with my "sponsor."  I always look forward to our long walks (and catch up sessions) in Central Park because she always gives it to me straight, but we manage to laugh the entire time.  We literally walk and walk and talk and talk until we get it all out.  When I leave Central Park I always feel like a huge weight has been lifted.  I've sweat out some of the wine from the night before and generally feel lighter.  On this particular walk I did more listening than talking, which made me realize how much better (and less dramatic) I have been feeling.

I tracked all my food this weekend (meat sauce, pizza, and all), worked out a few times in the last week and given the opportunity to throw in the towel I resisted.  I stuck to my guns.  It was not easy.  There are certain people that I will always have a soft spot for; a really soft spot.  This is how a drug addict must feel.  That thought has been on repeat today.  Food addiction aside, I wonder if you can suffer a "person addiction."  I'm exposed to the smallest amount and I want it all.  After two months of mantras, introspection, and an abundance of "me" time, I did not take the bait.  I reiterated my position and went back to my life.  Ironically enough, Bon Iver's "Can't Make You Love Me" came on as I started this post. What I've learned is that, every time I resist I get a bit stronger.  This applies to my WW journey as well as my journey through against-my-will singledom.

Say NO.  And mean it.  Decline the dessert.  Decline the offer of "friendship" when you really want to rip someones clothes off.  Say NO again and again until they believe you.  Be patient with yourself...and with your friends.  I am far more compassionate than I was six months ago.  Take your time.  Give your friends time.  Dance.  Dance more.  Workout.  Workout with a friend.  Call your sister and cry.  Don't listen to your mother.  Oh and drink wine.  Lots of wine.


Jeanette said...

What do you mean 'don't listen to your mother'???

Shanna said...

Mom, you know you are prohibited from giving dating advice.