Monday, April 23, 2012

This Just Can't Be Summer Love...

So it's Monday again, blog friends.  This one is gray, chilly, and damp.  Perfect weather if I was 13 and away at summer camp.  Sadly enough, I'm a big girl now, with 8am meetings downtown that leave me shivering and quite tired.  While devouring my lunch, I perused an article from the New York Times, recommended by my Mom.  It's all about dating and the Internet.  You know, the usual stuff I worry about.  I think this quote might say it all:

 "Sitting home at night scrolling through online profiles can sometimes feel like the 21st-century equivalent of sitting in a bar alone, hoping to score."

The wheels immediately started spinning.  How many hours would I say, on average, have been spent looking at online dating profiles within the confines of my apartment?  Sure, most of the these dating sites have Apps which makes it much easier to browse in transit.  But, more often than not, I browse while on my couch.  If I spent equal time in social settings I wonder how many people I would converse with, IRL of course.  (That's in real life for you non-techies.)  Online dating has helped hundreds of thousands of people fall in love.  I do not deny that fact.  But, I think it has made singles in NYC lazier, myself included.  It's easier and safer (emotionally, literally) to send someone a quick message than to approach them in, say, a bar.  I have sent messages to men I would never, ever approach in a bar.  Although, I very rarely approach men in bars because I'm a Grade A Baby.  

Am I making any sense?  Weeding out the weirdos poses its own special challenge online.  I have received some truly disturbing messages over these last several months.  But, can you really judge someone by one email they write?  I wouldn't want to be judged based on the completely asinine emails I've written.  Do you see the dilemma?  I was chatting with an avid dater (male) on Saturday night and I asked him what the worst date he had ever been on was.  I expected to hear of some sordid affair, but shockingly he explained he doesn't go on "bad dates."  I, intrigued, inquired further.  He went on to explain that although he may not end up attracted to the girl he was out with, he always enjoyed meeting new people and having an interesting conversation.  Insert awww.  He was completely serious.  What a refreshing attitude!  Me, along with a few of my girlfriends who are also online (and IRL) dating, have spent countless hours dissecting emails/texts/head tilts/handshakes/etc., of potential suitors.  Am I being too picky?  In my attempt to be open minded I've exchanged emails/texts/handshakes with some truly bizarre people with whom I've had no connection with.  On the other hand, during periods of being highly selective, I'm left almost dateless.  What gives?  

What do I want?  I want to enjoy getting to know someone without the pressures of the future.  I want to focus on being present and not picture myself in a wedding dress while on a date.  I want to laugh.  A lot.  I want to not be so wracked with nerves that I feel nauseous before every date.  I want to have fun.  I think a change of attitude is in order.  From now on, dating will hereby be known as: having the opportunity to meet new, interesting people.  If nothing more comes of the evening than that, fine.  It's all a crap shoot anyway.  Right?  As I slowly change my perception, I slowly change my life.  It's no longer: must find boyfriend.  Now it's: must have fun.  

Now go forth and make out.  It's almost summer after all.  

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