Monday, July 2, 2012

AnAn Excerpt

Today's post is an excerpt from a Ryan O'Connell piece on Thought Catalog that I just loved and related to and almost-but-didn't-make-me-cry.  Oh man, as much as it hurts you have to be honest in situations like these.  Luckily, I look back happily and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be the well-adjusted person I am today.  Not exactly true, but you know what I mean:

I once said something along those same lines, years ago, when I found myself falling for my best friend. I told him that I liked him and he responded, “I think I like you too but I really don’t want to sacrifice the friendship.” I said back, “Look, I’ll be real. I can’t be your friend. I like you so much that being your friend feels like torture so I have to do this. I have to either try dating you and see if it works or not be your friend at all.”
It seems like a “way harsh, Tai” response, right? I’m being selfish. There’s no doubt about that. But here’s how I look at it: There are so few people you really connect with in this world. There are so few people with whom it really makes sense, so you can’t let your fear get in the way of going after someone you love. Don’t let your fear cockblock you from experiencing something that could be potentially great.
If your feelings aren’t reciprocated and the friendship falls apart, well, of course that’s devastating. But you need to understand that it would’ve been devastating either way. If you hadn’t said anything, it would’ve felt terrible. You probably wouldn’t have tried to date or look for anybody else. Why would you when you’re already spending all your time with someone you love? At least now you know and you can start to move on. You can push your life forward. You no longer have to be stagnant and wait for something that’s not going to come.

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