How many times have we heard a man say he wanted to "focus on his career." Sometimes it's total bullshit. Sometimes it's the honest truth. Not every person in their late 20's/early 30's is interested and/or willing to put in the time and effort associated with being in a serious relationship. There are two schools of though surrounding this idea. One, is that when you meet the right person it won't matter if you were looking to put in the time or not -- you just will.
The other is that timing is everything. Two people perfectly suited (whatever that means) for each other could simply meet at the wrong time. Ugh. Timing. It's like missing the subway by 30 seconds, which happens to me almost daily. Although I may only have to wait an additional 2 minutes, I'm pissed. If someone was blocking my entrancing causing the delay, oh man am I even more annoyed. Someone Else's timing.
I have watched relationships begin (and end, of course) under the umbrella of both schools of thought. A guy who was a Grade A Jerk to everyone he dates suddenly meets someone and falls madly in love and treats this lucky lady like a princess. How often is that tale told amongst single ladies? A lot. Too much, in fact. Jerks are jerks are jerks. That's my motto. I'm getting off topic..although I'm not exactly sure where this post is headed. Oh careers. Right.
So dudes are comfortable putting their careers first...and telling you all about it. Have you ladies out there ever said that to someone you were dating -- or even your friends? Is your career important to you? What is important to you? What is important to me??
Women (or let's just say my friends because I feel more comfortable speaking for them a bit) want a boyfriend/husband/live-in best friend at this age. The ones I know at least. I have never heard one of them explain their singledom in terms of their careers. Not a one. I know a lot of brilliant women too. We are not a group of underachieving idiots. Mostly. My point is, why aren't we more focused on climbing the corporate ladders at this age? It's the perfect time to be doing that! We are young! We have the energy and freedom to really dive head first!
Can you get ahead in your career while also enjoying a fulfilling relationship? I sure hope so! I just think we can become so myopic in our thinking that we inadvertently put so much pressure on romantic pursuits that we become "ladies in waiting." Waiting for a guy to finish a day of meetings, or waiting for him to have a free moment, instead of filling our own schedules with interesting stuff. I certainly have no interest in waiting in line behind a man's career obligations, but I am more than happy to meet him half way.
Still sorta all over the place, but let me put it to you guys this way. One guy said to me: would you rather date someone who had nothing going on so they could text you all day? I mean, a dickhead comment for sure, but I hate to admit he had a point. If I expect the person I date to be passionate about something then I sure as shit must be as well. I don't want to sit around waiting on the off-chance that someone can hang out with me. If he really wants to, my being busy once (or twice) won't be a major deterrent. That much I know to be true.
Oh and if someone says they want to focus on their career...let them go do that...and perhaps shift your focus a bit as well. If nothing else, it will take the pressure off of future romantic encounters -- and really, don't we all need to just breath a bit?